Getting Hard at Home

Oh man, it's great to be back here at my blogging sanctuary. It's depressing that it's been over three weeks since my last post. Don't worry, I'm not pulling a Mark Titus and quitting altogether. It's just been a little rough for a G lately. Fans are becoming giddy and harassing me on my Facebook wall. I'm being confronted at social gatherings. I feel like a mother bird who is tantalizing a nest full of baby chicks by dangling a worm an inch out of their reach. Actually, that analogy makes little to no sense, but I like the thought, so I'll keep it. I apologize to all my faithful followers who have been chomping at the bit to read my perspective of what's been going on in my life. It's been a crazy time of the year with finals, moving home, and going on a missions trip to Argentina. If you would like to read about that, I was doing some blogging at nwceagles.com. They're no Wetberg blogs! Don't get that twisted for a second, but they do give some insight to what we did for 11 days in 'Tina.

Now I'm sure many of you saw the title I put for this posting. If you go to Northwestern, you were appalled, and anyone else from River Falls or beyond got more excited than they should. NWC can take a chill pill, and everyone else can get their head out of the gutters.

Here's what's been happenin in Wetberg's World:

So now I'm back in good old RF and starting to get used to life in rural Western Wisconsin. I have the satisfaction of doing below average, but passing all my college classes this spring, so I can return to Northwestern and record a few more trillions for the Eagles. (Lord Willing). However, like my main man Walt, I live in the moment. The moment is summer and River Falls.

I've been back for about three days and I feel like I'm right back in stride. After spending the last nine months in the comfy twin cities, it has been nice to get down and dirty with life in RF. (Gutter Check). yeah...get out.

My first day back conveniently was the time that cleaning of the pig pens take place. I don't think anyone in their right mind should get excited for a task like this, but I was a little bit because I was getting that feeling of manhood that I got a taste of on Steak night (see previous post). If I were given 5 "man-cards" that could be lost or re-gained depending on the manliness of my decisions, I would be sitting at a Gentleman's 3. Usually I'm all about the triple, but not in this case. Let me illustrate a breakdown:

Day 1 of being back: 1 man card lost, 1 Man card regained.
During day one, I had to shovel fecal matter out of the pig pens. This should be a +1 right? Nothing like getting your hands dirty and doing some hard labor. So, I'll take a +1 for completing the task with no complaints. However, there was one time when I was shoveling some into the wheelbarrow, a chunk fell off and I jumped out of the way much harder than I should have. I was for some reason scared to get my 9th grade basketball shoes, that have been used for this task for two years, more dirty. Perhaps I thought some of it was going to bounce up and get on my skirt? Lord only knows. But I was and still am thoroughly embarrassed. I feel like a goose. So I broke even on the first day back. The next couple days were not so favorable.

Today especially, was a tough day. I lost two cards in one day. At this rate, I'm going to be visiting a different restroom by June. This afternoon, I decided to help my brother out and mow a couple of his lawns for him in town. They were two push-mowed lawns that took about an hour and a half between them. When I was finishing up the second lawn I wiped a little sweat off my head and prepared to gladly accept a man card along with a glass of lemonade. O for 2 on that one! When I looked at my hands, I had blisters on both thumbs from the mowers. I wouldn't say I am naturally the burliest of men, but I've only been in the cities for 9 months! I have gotten so soft! To make matters worse, I received a text after seeing my sissy hands asking me to do some babysitting! I guess when it rains, it pours. I'm dishing out cards left and right. (Anyone who knows me knows I'm not going to turn down a chance to make a quick 20 bucks!)

So here we sit at three man cards. How can I earn a couple back?! Who on T.V. is the most manliest? I'm in a huge slump, and need to get out sooner than later! Survivorman is pretty manly. Yeah, that's an understatement. He's a savage beast! Watch out bub. LW and EG are about to get our survivorman on!

The timing of this slump is a blessing in disguise because my best bud, Gilby, and I had intended on going on a canoe trip for a couple days and rough it all. We intend to sleep on sand bars and cook over a camp fire. (like real burly men). Gilby's ability to grow a red beard says enough about his manhood, so he's not trying replace and cards. I wish I could stay the same. I wish I could just be doing some general maintenance, but I'm trying to come out of a debt here. We'll be paddling upstream for a day and a half, then float back downstream and do some serious fishing. This may seem like a serious bromance, but I will call no homo, so everything is cool.

I look forward to hooking you all up with some stories of our adventure and maybe even a good fish story!

Until then,

Stay Wet! This is what's happenin in Wetberg's World!

-Wetberg (+3)