Where's Walter?....At Prom. WET!

Well it's closing in on 1:00 AM here on a Thursday night before a massive Calculus II test coming up in a few hours, so I figured this would be a good time to get cracking on a blog entry. I'm sitting up on Lib's heavenly temprapeudic mattress with the peaceful sounds of "Planet earth" is soothing my mind and putting me in the perfect place to slap you all in the face with what's shaping up to be a lengthy entry. It's been a long week here at NWC and around the state of Minnesota.

Here's what's been happenin in the world of Wetberg:

As I mentioned in my previous blog entry, "the cinco" (my/our NWC homestead) has been unusually quiet at times. "The cinco's" nightly honorary guest and good friend, Walt, has been very deceptive as of late. For the past month or so, Walt has been the ninth resident of the Cinco. Lately there has been a change of heart that hasn't been popular with the inhabitants of cold, messy back room. The way things had been working (very well I might add), Walt would make a daily trip in his raggedy T-Bird up to his "dorm room" and bring his necessities for the night. This beautiful system has recently been changed as trips of bringing clothes in have continued, but bringing clothes back have become less of a habit. Over a few weeks, Walt compiled a wardrobe of clothes that littered our living room. This did not sit well with our tidy non-basketball playing roommates and more importantly, our R.A. Walt received the most sugar-coated warning of "Let's get this stuff cleaned up and out by the weekend bud" (Wink)....The weekend came and the quartet had left for the night, a Friday night. (And when we leave for the night, WE AINT COMIN BACK!) Unlike Kiesha, we did not brush our teeth with a bottle of Jack, but simply stuck to our Colgate, Crest, or in my case, Shoppers Value Dollar Paste. ...Let's get back to the story though. When we returned the next day, Walt's clothes that had been "binned up" into massive tub-a-wares were missing. Walt was missing the majority of his clothes! This put him into a frenzy. He set himself up for numerous lines with poorly chosen statements such as, "Dude, I have no idea where my clothes are". The witty ones of the quartet and friendly curly haired neighbor responded with "Have you checked your pants?". Walt checked his pants at least ten times. No luck for the man who was running out of pants to check. After a rough day and a half, Walt was returned his clothes with an incentive to move out. Walt received the package....I mean message. So lately, the bat cave in the back room has been occupied by a new victim. This new visitor was another teammate who was notorious for high flying dunks and his "tuna can". Since the arrival of 'tuna can', many late night trips have been made to Cubs foods for common late night snacks of a box a fruit snacks and a jar of pickles. Tonight is the first night in a week or two where the cinco has been pleasured to have both of our prized visitors. Walt received the shaft by moving from the ever comfortable "bat cave" to the had mattress given for recruits to stay on. This however is a better solution than sleeping on our couch which is named "Chasity". The name comes for obvious reasons: There are three distinct cushions with firm, wooden bars between. This couch is a worse C-Block than a little brother plopping down next to you on the couch to enjoy the movie he so desperately wanted to see and couldn't wait to watch any of the other four nights of the 5-night rental. Long story short: We're in good company with Walt and the 'Bronze Tuna Can'.

It's now 1:45 AM, and Lib has become a victim to the Z's. I don't know how that is possible with me hacking away at the keyboard and the savage British accent illustrating a group attack of lions and a giant elephant. "Planet Earth" is an incredible addition to the sleeping experience. I can't begin to fathom the dreams that my good friend in encountering right now.

On the topic of dreams, this last weekend, I felt like I was encountering a dream. I got the opportunity to be "the good guy", help a friend out, and save a high school girl from watching her high school prom in sweat pants. (A nightmare if we are going to continue with the dream cliches). I felt like I was in one of the remix movies that was a twist between "Groundhogs Day", and that Zach Efron movie where the 30 year old burnout turns 17 again (the title of the movie) and tries to convince America that he can be a stud basketball player. Hey Zach: I wasn't fooled in High School Musical, and will continue to not look past your lack of basketball skills. You are a disgrace to the game. Confession: My only motives for that statement are because it's true as well as I would love for the BBall-Poser/Pop-Star to challenge me to a game of 1-on-1....maybe put it on MTV...No big deal. Anyways, Walt's girlfriend had brought it to my attention that she had a friend who didn't have a date for her senior prom and the deadline to buy tickets was in three days. Was I on the hot-seat? Yes. Being the softy that I am, I caved, but was most convinced by the fact that I wouldn't have to pay for hardly a thing. I had been introduced to the girl, who happened to be a very sweet girl, one time, but that was enough for me. This decision made my position on the hot seat much worse as it was the cause of my first serious discussion and DTR with the shawty I am very fond of. (Quick note: Bless her heart for being understanding of everything and putting up with me! She's a doll!) Plus, she reads and brings followers to Wetberg's World, which only encourages me to produce this onslaught of satiric stories and nonsenses in my life. Snap back to the point: I went to prom as a college freshman. Sketchy? Absolutely. Do I feel like a huge tool for doing it? A little bit....However, the feeling of helping other people, while having a good time myself was incredible. Stewartville, Minnesota had never seen and struggled to comprehend the fierce moves I was throwing down on the dance floor. During the typical array of dance music, I managed to open some eyes with an assortment of embarrassing moves combined with a thin slice of knowledge regarding commonly known dances. Stewie ran a classy prom. There wasn't a lot of "bumping and grinding" that prom is notoriously known for. I haven't the time or space to list off the the moves that were attempted on that night, but I must say that when I started jerking on the dance floor, I received some looks of amazement, confusion, as well as admiration. For this, I thank my "roommate", the grime master himself for jerking many nights with me as we got to know each other better in the fall. Overall, it was a fun experience for all. The last song played was Taylor Swift's "Today was a Fairytale". I won't go that far, but it was a lot of fun. Seeing my main man Walt letting lose on the dance floor (mostly due to his near death lack of blood sugar) was enough for me to forget that I had gotten my hand slammed in the door of the family Cutlass as well as being framed as the "face of the Stewartville Prom" by making the front page of the town's weekly newspaper for my courageous nursing home walk-through after having my fingers mashed between the cold car door and the sturdy frame of Walt's family vehicle. (A quick shout-out to my best friend Gilby: Hey bud. Thanks for making my picture from the "Stewartville Star" your facebook profile picture. I appreciate the accountability aspect that nothing I do goes unnoticed. Thank you for exposing me for all to see on Facebook Nation.....you will pay!)

Now, I am flirting with 2:30 AM, but this has been a fun entry. I feel like I've covered about half of my intended material tonight, so stay tuned for the next update featuring my thoughts on softball, a thrilling story of sheer will power and good friendship, as well as a rundown of my last two intramural draft league basketball highlights. I might just shout that one out right now. Wade Grabow= WETNESS! 7/11 from downtown was a treat from the NWC Offensive Lineman. Also, another consecutive game of tossing an alley-oop pass to my man Bri-Guy who stands two inches shorter than me, but flies in a different atmosphere. By the way, we won, but more importantly, great job on the big plays. I'll expect Eagle 7 news to be at the next IM games creating thrilling highlights for the chapel news that nobody watches anyways. It'd still be an honor to be shown on a "top 10 list" for making an assist for a middle of the road intramural basketball team. Message to kids: Shoot for the moon and settle for the broken leg you receive for attempting to jump to the moon off the roof of your house.

Speaking of Mediocrity: Mark the Shark himself put up another incredible blog recently. clubtrillion.blogspot.com I'm an avid follower and have a new meaning in life since reading Titus's words of wisdom. My goal three years from now is to be sitting in the first 30 rows at the NCCAA Division 1 National Tournament at the conclusion of my senior year. Mark: I want to be you. Love you more than you know. No homo.

That's all I have for you for now, please get up and focus your eyes on something other than this blog before you attempt to make a comment. I warned you it'd be lengthy and I am a man of my word. (except for when I say I'm going to start eating healthier tomorrow....never works.)

Thanks for being loyal readers to the 7 who are confessing followers, for those who are new: Don't be shy. I see the stats....19 hits. Watch out Titus!

That's it. Goodnight. Peace 'n Blessins Y'all.

Stay WET my friends!

-Wetberg